Hi everybody! Because this blog is heavily geared toward fitness/wellness/eating right, I think it is important that I share some of my background as it pertains to these topics. It'll help you know where I'm coming from and why I know what I know. And perhaps most importantly, invite a connection between me and you so that we can help each other in this journey towards each finding our own health-life balance.
For now, I'm just going to give the short version of a very long story, but if you would like to know more or have any questions, feel free to send me a comment. :-) I'm not particularly used to opening up about this stuff, but here goes nothing...
My first intentional relationship with diet and exercise began when I was thirteen. I had become very self-conscious in general, and particularly critical of the little bit of extra weight I was carrying. I didn't know much about nutrition, but educated myself a little with whatever means I could, and my only takeaway was: Eat as few calories as possible. Which, of course, works quite well in the short term. I lost all of the weight I wanted to, but had no idea how to maintain. My diet while losing was way too restrictive, but I was afraid to just eat "normally", fearing that I would gain it all back. I started to develop all sorts of neurotic habits around eating. I'd pick and pick at dessert foods, but never just eat a cookie or piece of cake. I'd eat most of a box of cereal after coming home from school, having eating nothing until then. And as these extra calories added up, I did start to gain a little weight (my metabolism was way slowed down and my weight was quite low, so it didn't take much to start gaining). And as I put on a few pounds, I started to go on "mini fasts" in an effort to restrict calories. This typically ended in small binging sessions, which would be followed by another fast. And so the stage was set for the years of disordered eating ahead of me.
From this beginning to where I am now, I suffered from "bouts" of full-on eating disorders at times, but more often maintained a "fairly normal" life with varying degrees of disordered eating. My weight has fluctuated 50 pounds, ranging from very underweight to slightly overweight. It took me a very long time to find a healthy balance and a lot of hard mental work. I have to give my husband quite a lot of credit for helping me find my happy place.
And yes, at this point, I am in a very happy and healthy place. Not by any means perfect or completely satisfied, but way happier than and way more comfortable with who I am. My goal for myself is to fine tune the balance that I've thus far found. While I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds, I am not obsessing over it. It'll happen sometime, or maybe it won't. I am working on becoming more mindful and intuitive about eating. Just because you're allowing yourself to go out on the weekends and have fun doesn't mean that you should go out and gorge yourself just for the sake of weekend fun- or at least you shouldn't do it very often. :-) I work out daily, but the intensity of my workouts varies from day to day. Weekends generally consist of at least one day where I tone the intensity down on my cardio and do not weight lift.
Hiking in the Adirondacks this Summer
The best thing that came out of my struggle is my passion for exercise, cooking, and engaging in the wellness community. Funny how the thing that brought me so much pain sparked the passion for what have turned out to be very positive and productive activities.
I started working out on my own when I started dieting (I played some sports before that). There were times when I became a little too dependent on it, but in general, exercise has played a very positive role in my life. I think that it played a major role in helping me recover from disordered eating. Exercise is a great stress reliever and wonderful time to spend goal-planning and engaging in little motivational talks to yourself. I truly do love to exercise and I love how it makes me feel. I use the elliptical, weight lift, do exercise videos, and run. I also love going for walks outside or hiking (when the weather's nice!).
I also started baking when I first started dieting at 13. This began as sort of a vicarious pleasure as I'd feed others all sorts of tasty treats. And depending on what sort of phase I was going through eating-wise, also allowed me bits of fat and sugar as I nibbled on the batter or cut off little slivers from the pan. The baking habit transitioned into a cooking habit, as it was a more productive and healthy way to get my kitchen fix (baking so much only really works when you have your brothers' sports teams to eat your creations). I am a very creative person and love to make up my own recipes, both when baking and cooking. Learning to cook gives you a lot of power when it comes to eating healthy. You get to pick the healthy ingredients you love and cook them using whatever healthy method you prefer. No need to follow conventional rules. :-)
Finally, my obsession with all things eating/exercising related spurred me to read A LOT of information about nutrition, weight loss, and exercise. It also influenced the choice of my secondary major in undergrad, which was psychology. I took whatever health/sport psychology classes were offered, which I really enjoyed. Now, I've recently became certified as a personal trainer and have just started as an Independent BeachBody Coach.
I am very passionate about helping others find their balance. I know what it is like to be lost in that journey and I know that it sucks. Those of us who struggle/ have struggled with eating/exercising struggle in all sorts of different ways, but the roots of these issues are often very similar. Please feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
And here I am, with my new husband, happy and healthy at our wedding early this fall.
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